Thursday, April 25, 2013

Life Has Storms

My mother says that I've wanted to grow up since I was 3 years old. And I guess I have, but honestly? It's only because I'm now at the point in my life where the decisions I make affect and shape how the rest of my life will go. Now is the time when I will begin to make the decision for myself as to whether or not I do something. Like go on a mission. Or rob a bank. You know, just your basic everyday options.

Leaving is going to be hard, you guys. Like really super oh-my-heck status hard. But because I have been through hard things before, I know that while times might get tough and I might not want to go, I will go. I will go because I have a testimony of the truthfulness of this church. I know from personal experience that this gospel brings nothing but a better life to those who have decided to walk the path that it lays out before you. In this world, there is so much sadness, and it is inevitable that at some point some of that hardship will splash onto you. However, I know that I never would have been able to walk out on the other side of some of my life's storms without my faith. When I am sad and there is nobody there to comfort me, I am able to pray to my Father in Heaven and know that there is somebody who cares. There is somebody who will always have time to listen to you and comfort you.

So. Now. On to the dirty details.

Here's the story of how I walked through my hardest emotional storm to date.

It had been about a month after he decided to brake things off when I found myself in my car, late at night, all alone in my driveway with the radio on softly to a sad country song about (surprise, surprise) heartbreak. The engine was off, but there was a storm going on. So there, in my beat up old car where we had had our first kiss, I cried my heart out in prayer.

I told Him how I was just so tired of thinking about him everyday, so sick of being angry all the time. I begged Him to take the anger out of my heart so that I could just be DONE with him already.

All of a sudden, I felt this immediate rush of peace and calm enter my body. I felt like I had literally taken something off of my body and thrown it far away.

The next day as I was sitting in church, I was sitting listening to the talk that was being given when I realized something was different.

I kept asking myself, "Am I sad? No. Do I miss him? No."  

Suddenly, I realized that I was happy. Happy! I couldn't believe that I had forgotten what the sensation felt like.

I know this story may not seem like much, but to me, it's a whole lot. I am stronger today. I have a deeper knowledge of my strengths, and my faith was most assuredly bolstered that night. All because of a prayer.

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