The emotions of leaving are something else entirely. You
have been dreaming, hoping, wishing for this day to come--and now it's here.
And you can't seem to take the next step.
This phenomenon has got to be the oddest thing about the
human experience. We can want something--something big, something dramatic,
something that will completely change the course of a person's life--and the
hardest thing is taking the first step required to enter into that longed-for
place.
It's difficult because you realize that that first step,
that wonderful, beautiful thing that you have imagined time after time is also
your last on the path that you have become familiar with. All of a sudden, the
sights that you looked at with apathy on a good day and disgust on a bad one,
are now the most beautiful things that you have ever had the blessing of
beholding.
We fear change because there is nothing to grab hold of when
the storm sets in. Our familiar surroundings are in immediate danger of being severed
from us, nevermore to be the same--even upon return. In our cozy world that
we've created, we have built up our rituals and our comforts for when the night
seems dark and the winds are never-ending. We have cried, laughed, experienced the space that we have
formed from a combination of the personal decisions and events that make up our
lives.
In leaving, you are saying goodbye to all of that. You never
realize that when you're dreaming.
But now is the day that you say goodbye. You release your
grip on the life you have lead up to this moment. Roll your suitcase forward
and get ready for a big wide wonderful world that you have yet to inspire,
influence, and experience.
And don't forget to smile.
