Today I received my letter from my Mission President. Such a small thing...and yet is had a very profound effect upon me. Here's an excerpt from what I wrote in my journal immediately following the experience that occurred while I was reading all of what my mission sent to me.
"Included was a list of guidelines that made me honestly question whether or not I really wanted to go on a mission. It seems shallow, I know, but the confidence I had once had in my decision was shaken. I got a glimpse of just how hard this all is going to be, and it frightened me. Everybody says that missions are hard...I guess that I had just pushed that uncomfortable truth to the back of my mind to make the decision easier to make. Despite all these doubts that had flooded my mind, a revelation full of light made them vanish as quickly as they had appeared. In preparation for my mission, I have been thinking exclusively of myself. I have been thinking of the experiences that I'm going to have, all of the things that I'll miss. I have been so immature and selfish. But this isn't about me. It's about going out and doing the Lord's work. It's about loving the children of His, and then laboring in His name and for their sake. It's not about the recognition that is received by becoming a successful missionary. It's about doing His work, acting in the knowledge that it's His will, and standing as best as I can in His place. I want to become the woman that He has in mind for me to be. And I will give it my all to do so. Not for me, but for these people."
I have been so impressed while writing these words how much potential the Lord sees in us, despite our flaws. And that is what it means to love us as He does. To see that potential in every person that I meet. I have also been impressed as to how this mission is so completely perfect for me. This is His will, and His will is perfect.
